Many relationships only have a surface level of intimacy, which usually duals as foreplay. The intimacy is short lived, and after sex it must be built up again over time, which continues the cycle of the foreplay / sex routine, which more often than not results in a boring sex life, and a lack of connection in a relationship.
How many couples out there experience their partner often not in the mood? It’s incredibly common and its disastrous to a healthy sex life, and overall a happy relationship. A female led relationship ( FLR ), changes all of that very quickly.
A female led relationship turns it around, and makes intimacy more important than sex. As a result, intimacy and foreplay become two entirely different things. As we have discussed in previous lessons, the key to intimacy, is to make a man wait until the woman is ready to have sex, which means, he is going to have to get intimate with her. So what is intimacy? It’s very similar to chivalry, expect it has a much more personal touch and personal connection.
Holding hands is the start of it, and then it morphs into much greater things, such as, simple cuddling without sex after wards, or even the expectation of it. Just being close to each other physically develops intimacy. There is also intimacy in laughter, making her laugh, and her making him laugh, develops great bonding, and makes the connection between them more likely to develop further. As the relationship grows, the intimacy deepens, where their personalities blend and mix, and they get a feel for each other.
Intimacy comes in many forms, including massages, foot rubs, running her a bath, and even doing acts like chores around the house or yard even when not asked to do so. Intimacy is about effort, a man who puts in effort, without sex being his ultimate goal, will be instantly recognized and appreciated by a woman, and the more attentive to her needs he becomes, the more she will want to take the relationship further, into foreplay, and sex. So all it takes is effort, this is an effort, that never dies, at any point in the relationship, and it only gets deeper and deeper as it goes, the more they get to know each other.
A woman in a female led relationship will recognize quickly the moment that effort dies down and will question whats going on, and through open communication about any issues that arise, they will figure it out and solve it. Intimacy is a big topic, so I will be coming back to it again in other lessons, this is just the basics of it, and why it's important for a healthy relationship where the connection between them never dies.Jul 102019
The advantages of a relationship where the female is the dominant and the male is the submissive can have great effects. Usually, the male is the dominant one in relationships, and this is traditionally accepted. However, there are many pros to being in a relationship where the woman is the boss, and this can even be very beneficial sexually. First, it can give the woman a stronger feeling of freedom, inside and outside of the relationship, because they have the ability to control their lives.
Second, a female who begins being dominant, especially through pleasure and pain methods will usually experience greater climaxes. Power itself is like one big drug, and when it’s used by women they can truly go from average orgasms to unimaginable orgasms. And this doesn’t only affect the intensities, but the number of orgasms they have. It is a fantastic experience that should be tried by all women in a sexual relationship.Jul 092019
Chastity itself even helps in relationships as it intensifies the sexual desires of the male, therefore increasing their desire for their mistress. It can save a marriage simply by giving a man desires about his wife and keeping his mind off of others making him appreciate her more. Chastity is just a very thrilling experience that may even change the whole directions of a couples sex life. In addition to that, chastity doesn’t have to be all about sex. Some couples arrange a chastity program where exercise is the main goal, such as the chastity belt will be removed after he loses 10 pounds or something along those lines.
There is a large gap between the number of truly submissive males and truly submissive females, which at first might discourage many readers who are men. However, even non-dominant women love a new experience in the bed, and again, with all these benefits, they may never go back. It is important that females get what they want in bed, and that males fulfill their desires as much as theirs are fulfilled. Dominance is a mindset that is natural and sometimes undiscovered, but it always has beneficial sides to it. If you are a male reading this article, then try femdom for your spouse, mistress, or girlfriend. If you are a female reading this, then try femdom for the new experience and the total power you will feel after experiencing it. It’s never too late to try something new.
Truth be told, there’s grounded scientific research which suggests that BDSM and kinky sex is not just a portal into sexual exploration and experimentation which navigates away from the traditional ‘vanilla’ sexual lifestyle, but that BDSM is something which also leads to numerous physical and mental health benefits.
Kinky sex is primarily about two main things; negotiation and consent. In order to negotiate and navigate through consent, a couple needs to have an open and honest communication. For that reason, couples and individuals who practice BDSM and kinky sex tend to be in a far better position than non-kinky couples when it comes to the art of communication. Kinky couples discuss their feelings, their desires in an open fashion which then leads to improved communication between the two.
Communication is an important part of kink and BDSM. Couples need to discuss their fantasies with their sexual partner, they need to then negotiate about what each can do for the other. They will discuss what turns them on, their likes and dislikes and what they’re willing to do. This discussion forms the negotiation. You don’t just walk into the bedroom one day and your partner is sitting there with a ball gag and a whip and they say – I want to be whipped. There needs to be the discussion of the practicality of the scenario, how hard do you want to be whipped, do you want me to talk dirty while I do it, can I pull your hair, am I allowed to be rough and controlling?
Couples that practice BDSM might have a debriefing discussion after the play session where they will discuss what they liked, what turned them on, and if there was anything that made them feel uncomfortable. In this regard, BDSM couples are not just having a single discussion, they’re having multiple discussions about their activities until it is refined to the most ideal level that suits all involved.
When it comes to BDSM activities, some of the activities might involve a sense of physical danger and risk. It is therefore essential that communication and trust exists between a couple – both of which contribute to the sense of intimacy that they feel for each other and ultimately improve the relationship between the two consenting individuals.
A Kinky relationship, or one that engages in kinky sex is stronger for a variety of reasons not the least of which include the increased sense of intimacy and the levels of communication. Even a simple discussion about bringing a simple vibrator to use while playing, can open up the relationship and bring intimacy, honesty and openness. For this reason, and the idea that the individuals are close, having a kinky relationship encourages fidelity. That’s even inclusive of the idea of open relationships and polyamorous relationships.
But what else can BDSM do for you?
Kink actually improves mental health. Kink practitioners were found to be less neurotic, more open and mindful, more secure and grounded within their relationships and had a better sense of well-being. In part this comes from the increased level of intimacy, openness and communication that kinky players have with their partners. The communications helped them understand their partner in profound and interesting ways. If for example one partner is into the idea of being restrained – what they’re really looking for is the idea of submission and having their sense of power taken away. Through understanding this, it gives a profound insight into your partners mind. You can then think; my partner likes the idea of having his sexual power taken away and for me to take charge in the bedroom.
It doesn’t stop there and I could go on and on talking about the benefits that BDSM brings to the table, So what if I tell you that it also helps with anxiety…
Many people think that it can be stressing in many ways and mostly if you go deeper, as for example to play not only with restrains but to inflict or receive pain.
They might attribute the experiencing of giving or receiving pain as a stressful activity. The reality is however, that the sexual enjoyment of receiving or giving pain will actually reduce feelings of anxiety. As well.
As you see, BDSM is far from being only a sexual matter, it goes deeper, maybe there are kinks that aren’t for you and your partner, but you might find that there are so any kinks that you haven’t even heard about.Jul 022019
Try, communicate, push limits and then you decide as a couple what makes you both happy.
We all have heard the term sadomasochism, where the sadist enjoys inflicting pain and the masochist enjoys feeling pain. But let’s dig deeper to make sure everyone gets the right idea and what’s behind it.
Where does the word Sadism comes from?
The word sadism is derived from the Count Donatien de Sade, an eighteenth century French nobleman who wrote novels depicting sexual violence and cruelty.
What does Sadist means by definition?
A sadist is a person who is sexually aroused or gains sexual gratification by inflicting pain, cruelty, or humiliation on others. But not only that; some can also experience the same gratification from watching someone else inflicting pain on others. Indeed, a lack of consent may be a requisite part of the experience for a True Sadist.
Sadism may be of a sexual nature, or it may not!
Where does the word Masochism comes from?
The word Masochism is derived from the Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch in the nineteenth century, who described the gratification he got from his own pain and humiliation.
What does Masochist means by definition?
A Masochist is a person who derives sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation.
For submissives, allowing someone else to control their sexual pleasure can be a turn on, while some measure of pain is said to heighten sensation, excitement, and therefore, sexual arousal.
Masochism may be of a sexual nature, or it may not!
BDSM and Sadomasochism.
In the BDSM community, sadomasochistic practices are common. Sadomasochistic sexual encounters usually occur in the context of scripted scenes that simulate interactions between Master or Mistress and slave, employer and servant-maid, teacher and student, owner and horse or dog and parent and child. For the dominant in the situation, being in control of another's person pleasure - and to some extent their bodies and minds - is also a stimulating part of the game. Submissives like taking this role because it brings up feelings from childhood, like dependency, safety, and protection and winning the approval of the sadist becomes the center of his/her attention.
But keep in mind in BDSM, the consent and comfort of both partners is very important, so establishing limits and safe words to ensure both participants safety and integrity is imperative.Jun 132019
People choose a BDSM lifestyle for different reasons. Someone might be attracted to it because of a book, a magazine, a movie, heard about it from a friend etc. Most people like BDSM to experiment with control. A Mistress as a Master enjoy being in charge, having the control and power over others.
Why do submissives like this lifestyle? For a submissive, having control over your life or your body taken away can be very exciting. The uncertainty about what's going to be done to you, regardless the safe word you can use to end the scene; has still a psychological effect. That uncertainty and fear that comes from giving up control is a very powerful feeling.
Surrendering control to another person is a very "freeing" experience itself while responsibility is often stressful. By giving up freedom, a submissive may feel "freed" from responsibility and therefore freed from the stress that comes with it, if only for a moment.
Why do Dominants (alpha) like this lifestyle? Having control over another person's life or body can feel very empowering. The knowledge that you now have power over someone else, and they will not only willingly but gladly submit to your will, can be very exciting.
So now that we established what the Dominant wants and what the submissive needs, let's talk about TRUST. For a submissive, being able to Trust someone so deeply that you are willing to literally put your life in their hands is very romantic. For a Dominant, having someone in your life who is willing to give you that kind of Trust can be profoundly moving.
Fantasy is another big element of BDSM. We call it role-play; one is in power and the other is powerless. Fantasy and role-play are probably the most common forms of BDSM out there, because it has such an obvious appeal. Even people who are horrified by bondage and D/s can usually see the appeal of role-play in the bedroom.
Last but not least there's the remaining aspect of BDSM; the enjoyment of inflicting or being in pain (commonly referred to as S&M). It plays into both the control and the fantasy aspects of BDSM. Often a BDSM scene will involve the submissive being "punished" by the Mistress/Master for some reason and it may also involve a fantasy to justify it.
Pegging, or anal penetration of a submissive male by a Dominant Female, using a strap on dildo; is perhaps the pinnacle of power exchange in a BDSM relationship. While the physical side can involve pleasure for the submissive, a big part of what makes pegging such an intense turn on are the psychological aspects.
Helping Mistress fasten the buckles on the harness that holds the big, thick lifelike rubber penis and listening to Her tell you how she is about to make you Her bitch, brings home the reality of what is about to happen.
BDSM is about control, and being made to get on your knees and deep throat Her massive cock before she crams it into your quivering hole is the ultimate expression of Dominance, the ultimate role reversal. With every stroke, She takes a little bit more of your masculinity turning you into her property and breaking your will. She understands how humiliating it is for you and taunts you as She takes you over and over again.
She might tell you what a cock loving slut you are or that She is going to get you a real cock one day, or perhaps pimp you out. She might compare the size of Her cock to yours, or threaten to peg you in front of people.
The effects of pegging are multiplied exponentially when the sub is locked in chastity for extended periods of time. This is in part because of how sexually desperate the sub is, but more so because of the synergies between the control elements of pegging and chastity. The caged sub feels controlled before even being spread and violated.
The sub can be penetrated in an endless variety of positions and there are lots of things that can make the pegging experience even more intense. While pegging can be soft and loving, most times the sub can be taken roughly and being slapped and whipped or tortured during penetration. The Mistress might even use the subs caged cock as a handle while riding him or perhaps pull on his collar or make him wear a bit in their mouth for that same purpose.
Ultimately the sub will crave being pegged and learn to beg for it!